Explanation

Hey readers.

Knowing that there are people still bothering to read is quite reassuring. The fact that i appear to be different in real life might seem unbelievable. Perhaps i can only reveal how i really feel in my blog. Yes, correct, the last post was how i feel. The freaking irritating feeling that can only be suppressed by my time in council. Go ahead, roll your eyes and all. But that is the only one thing i can enjoy now. I don't mind staying till late at night to do council work. It is with friends that i can feel happy. Councillors to be particular. I feel really tired after everything but the process was worthwhile. Especially yesterday where most of us were in school cleaning the godforsaken storeroom and extremely filthy councillor room (thank you number 5s =X ). The room now is much more habitable and twice as clean. Good job everyone! (no need to do the cheer). Oh ya, forget to mention that Sandeep saved us from mercury spilled from a broken thermometer. Saved me from someone who keep exclaiming he's about to die too. HAHA! I kinda slack yesterday, but not to the extreme. Heh heh.

I would also want to thank the blazer committee for their hard work, selfless attitude and for sacrificing their time. Thank you Suan Kai, Supanee (a.k.a suprata, supranee, supernani), afshan, theodora, and chee kian. Also thank you all councillors who have helped them out when they are busy, especially on firday where we are still having pre-u seminar briefings.

Right now, i have lots of work to catch up. I really need to sort my life out. I know i should study, but i don't feel like doing so. I always procrastinate. I should be doing homework but i'm blogging. Perhaps the reason i'm so irritating, mischievous, happy-go-lucky, noisy, etc. etc. is because i want to hide my guilt, my sorrow and whatever shitty feeling i have right now. I don't want people around me to feel it. Also, i hate this feelings, it sucks. I want a time out, sort out my inner-self before i'm ready again. However, time and tide waits for no man (or woman), i do not have the luxury to do that. Haha, not to mention that people find it unbelievable that i have a girlfriend. I do behave differently and i can do that just so you know. I'm not always jovial and carefree Xavier. JC life is taking its toll on me, but i know i have to carry on, no matter what.

Until next time, bye..